I wake up covered from head to toe
sweat pouring from my skin.
Shivering, shaking, freezing
I feel it in my bones.
I am tangled up in damp sheets
and the air in the room smells of salt.
I am sticky and I can’t wait to get out of this bed
but I am literally frozen through.
I get up and cast off my clothes
for something warm and dry.
Then climb back in to bed
to try this all again.
This is what change feels like
this is what it takes.
Hard work, blood, sweat and tears
until metamorphosis occurs.
This is where courage takes hold
and digs it heels in the dirt.
When the push comes to shove
this will be the balance that I need.
I am fighting here for a victory
in a very silent war.
There are no guns blazing, no bombs exploding
just evil to be destroyed.
There is freedom to be discovered
in a world where I am unbound.
Chained to nothing, free to fly
and soar above the clouds.
A place where I am stronger
a place where I am true.
Where I am everything I ever wanted
anyone else to be.
Curled up again, I am safe and warm
and I start my lullaby.
I sing softly and quietly to myself
that this will only take time.