Reminiscing in stories on pages
in tears rolling down my cheek.
Holding thoughts in my fists
thinking that will keep them with me.
Remembering you, remembering all
of the loves that have long since passed.
Remembering who I was with them
and who I feel like I am now.
I feel like I live behind a veil
never truly seen.
Not quite heard or understood
I feel often mute and deaf and dumb
yet my senses are fully alive.
Too alive sometimes it seems
the nerve is always raw.
The memories are broken now
and blurry I’m sure, I know.
But I keep them close to my heart
the place where they always were.
My dreams are so vivid lately
so alive with the ones I have loved.
It almost like they’re coming to say goodbye
does this mean I am moving on?
The ones who have held my heart for years
and who I still see from behind that veil.
They look happy in those photo frames
with the ones that they love now.
I don’t think I’m meant to have and to hold
just to heal and teach them to fly.
To tend to broken wings
and toss them back into the air.
I watch from an empty nest
as I remain here alone.
I just don’t think I’m meant to hold
anything I’ve ever loved.