Wondering about going home
to a place where I no longer live.
Feeling slightly hesitant
yet eager at the same time.
There is nothing stranger than the feeling
that everything has changed.
There is nothing left of me in that place
no evidence I ever lived there.
It’s such an odd feeling seven years past
the guilt is finally gone.
I’m still fighting and scratching to find my way
not taking the easy way out.
I don’t know where I would say that I
truly feel at home.
I don’t know that I’ve ever really felt
that I was where I wanted to be.
I ended up here by default,
certainly not by choice.
But this is now where I have to find
a way to live this life.
I don’t know what role I will play with them
so far from who I once was.
And still so far, so far away
from who I want to be.