Going Home?

Wondering about going home

to a place where I no longer live.

Feeling slightly hesitant

yet eager at the same time.

There is nothing stranger than the feeling

that everything has changed.

There is nothing left of me in that place

no evidence I ever lived there.

It’s such an odd feeling seven years past

the guilt is finally gone.

I’m still fighting and scratching to find my way

not taking the easy way out.

I don’t know where I would say that I

truly feel at home.

I don’t know that I’ve ever really felt

that I was where I wanted to be.

I ended up here by default,

certainly not by choice.

But this is now where I have to find

a way to live this life.

I don’t know what role I will play with them

so far from who I once was.

And still so far, so far away

from who I want to be.