Friday, May 11, 2018

Words Seldom Used...............N

and this the letter N:

Natant:  swimming or floating. 
Nepenthe:  a drink having the power to bring forgetfulness of sorrow or trouble.  Anything inducing a pleasurable sensation of forgetfulness. 
Nival:  of, belonging to snow. 
Novia:  fiancĂ© or bride. 
Nuque:  the back of the neck. 
Nyx:  an ancient Greek goddess personifying night.

Lips drag slowly
tracing along the nuque
the taste of her
a nepenthe elixir.

Swallowing in deep breaths
inhaling her into me 
my mind reels
as a simple peace takes hold.

In natant wonder drifting 
mind in soft release
her power leaving
the rest of the world at bay.

She is mystery, my novia
nothing else compares
as original as a snowflake
in a nival breeze.

Upon me she falls
as night surrounds us both
the goddess Nyx
powerless next to her.

Elegant and wondrous
this creature, this woman, my dream
nyctalgia even fades
at the sound of her name. 


*this photo is not mine, no copyright infringement intended*

Words Seldom Used.........A

and this, the letter A:
Adient:  tending to move toward a stimulus. 
Adroit:  skilled use of hands or body. 
Adue:  together, in unison. 
Affet tuoso:  with an affection and tenderness (music)/ a composition or movement of gentle, tender character. 
Afficance:  to pledge by promise of marriage.


her voice a symphony
an affett tuoso
like heather in the wind
or velvet against my skin
her words slide sensuously
into my ears
and tickle the very essence
of my soul
adroit fingers sliding
down my spine
raising the skin
in textured ecstasy
pulling me along
with the force of her will
adiently drawn
deep into her
this woman, this treasure
this creature I cannot explain
owns my heart and now
we move adue
bound together
held within this promise
in affiance our voices sing
~ I do ~


*the photo is not mine, no copyright infringement intended*

Words Seldom Used..........G

And this, the letter G:

Glissande:  a sliding or gliding step.

Grace Note:  a note essential to the harmony or melody, added as an embellishment.

Gyve:  shackle


grope, grapple, grab
frenetically charged energy shifts
grind, gyrate, growl
letting loose myself inside of you

grunt, groan, grimace
my face contorts with lust and heat
gasp, grin, giggle
pleasure overtakes me in your arms

the gyve drawn tight around my wrists
ankles bound in mirror image of this
the smile that overtakes you, though composure never shakes
and you begin the task that is at hand

splayed wide, naked and defenseless
fearless I’ve become within your gaze
trust, now a beacon in the darkness
that led us both here to find our way

glissande steps move you through the room
as you seem to have become the very act
effortless it seems as you engage
yet everything within you is focused here

and finally the unnecessary gesture
the grace note in your symphony
you lay your lips tenderly upon mine
and without a word, proclaim your love to me


*this photo is not mine, no copyright infringement intended*

Words Seldom Used......O

And this, this letter O:
Od:  a hypothetical force formerly held to pervade all nature and manifest itself in magnetism, mesmerism, chemical action, etc. 
Oe-no-mel:  something combining strength with sweetness. 
Oell-lade:  an amorous glance. 
Obesiant:  movement of the body expressing deep respect or deferential courtesy.

Ode to Od

simple gesture seemingly
yet refined in texture and tone
oe-no-mel, this creature
leaves me gasping for breath
caught within the glimpse of my eye
her glance nearly askew
but oell-lade, I catch it
before she turns her head
this hypothetical force
of nature, savage and pure
I believe in its magic
as I stand near enough to feel
she is unbelievable yes
yet I am on my knees
in obeisant pose
thanking the powers that be
singing to the heavens
cracking open the sky
as she has split the shell of me
and set the prisoner free
I sing on high I sing to the low
in rising from under this soul
to let heaven rest beneath me
as we fly wing to wing
this is an ode a lyrical tale
of love and this woman so fair
and ode to od, the power
that need not be explained.

*the photo is not mine, no copyright infringement intended*

Words Seldom Used.......L

Words Seldom Used…..L

For my birthday in 2013, I bought myself Websters Unabridged Dictionary. My love teased me as I called it ‘word porn’ but she understood. For her birthday in 2014 I used that book to create a gift for her. She recently passed and I just uncovered these poems.

I took each letter of her name and went through that letter in my dictionary and wrote down words that I didn’t know, that reminded me in some way of her or us. I meditated on those words until I created a poem from them. As I finished each poem, I repeated the steps with the next letter of her name, completing each one in its entirety before beginning the next. As I reread them now, I recall every step and how I told her I was working on a ‘secret project’. She teased me again.

I am happy to say that she was nearly speechless as for the five days leading up to her birthday, I revealed one at a time to her, spelling out her name. If you knew her, you’d understand what her being speechless meant.

I’m going to share them here as a series, starting with the letter L. I will include the words and definitions that sparked each piece.

Lachesis:  the fate who determines the length of the thread of life.
Lachrymal:  of or pertaining to tears;  producing tears.
Labellum:  the petal of an orchid that differs more or less from the other petals often forming the most    conspicuous parts.
 Lachesis and The Lachrymal Labellum

She was a beauty like none seen before
singular and refined in her oneness.
She. like the single petal,
unlike any other on the stem.
She, the labellum, outstanding
differing in content and form.
She, most certainly conspicuous,
standing out on her own.
Her angelic stature and features
markedly striking a tone.
Heart strings struck nearly instantly
this beauty drawing me in.
Intensely, sensual creature
affecting every part of my soul.
Lachrymal explosion
pouring over me.
Although Lachesis holds the thread
that weaves the loom of our time.
I know that she has become my fate
my forever, forever mine.

*not my photo, no copyright infringement intended*

Sunday, April 1, 2018


I remember the first day and the first words we shared. It seems you came from out of nowhere, something magical. For four years, the feeling never changed.

You found me, by luck, or some odd coincidence. You read my words and were compelled. You said, you thought I needed a friend. Nothing about that was wrong.

We began an adventure of discovery, of imagination, and of reaching into the places few seldom go. We had an unconventional situation, forced to rely on words to connect us, as we never had the luxury of touch. Our moments were spent telling stories and creating the world we wanted to live in together. We went so many places and saw so many things all within the realm of imagination. You lived a life so unlike mine. You had travelled the world and seen and done things I could only dream of. I lived a lifetime inside my head, with worlds of untapped emotion, creating dreams through pages and pages of words. The only thing that we had in common was a loneliness that we each lived through our own making.

When I look back on our time together, I remember so many things. The time you took me to Paris for dinner and you described everything in complete detail down to the way the air smelled. It is as real to me now as if we’d actually been there together. I remember the midnight carriage ride on a snowy night. The air was so cold that our breath clouded before us but the energy between us was so electric, I never felt the chill. I remember the stories we created. Page upon page, volumes now as I look over them, of the deepest pieces of ourselves worked into fairy tales and dreams. Oh, the things we created!

I fell madly in love with you from the very start, losing myself completely in the wonder of the things we shared. Your energy was endless, your wit and humour knew no bounds and your passion was something I never believed could exist in another person. You understood me, you were patient and you pushed me to be more of myself than I had ever been. I understood you as well and brought out of you the ability to trust and to love.

It was so easy to simply lose myself in the world of our making. To escape the reality of my every day, to wander aimlessly in a creative bliss. And because of you, it was easy to forget the distance that kept us apart. You always said, ‘just dream with me’, and for years, I did.

As the years passed, we loved and grew and fought and cried, living in our hearts what we could not live in life. The distance became harder for me, times when you weren’t as strong, times when I thought the end had come. I began to build a wall around myself,  around my heart, against the inevitable.

Only once, did I ever allow myself to say out loud the things that I wished so deeply for. I loved you openly and without bounds and I cared for you the very best ways that I knew how. But only once did I admit that you were my knight in shining armour and I wanted you to carry me away.  

As time passed, things changed between us, your energy became less and less and our creative world became something different. I knew you would never come home, but I never let you know how that broke my heart. I never stopped dreaming with you, never truly let go of the hope that I held so deep.

The last time I heard your voice, you were no longer yourself. You were angry with me and I couldn’t really understand you. Things had progressed and though I could still feel you fighting with all your might, I knew the time was coming. Your messages became fewer and our time together was gone, just brief snippets of thoughts, broken sentences.

I will never know when you left, the day or the time. I accepted this long ago, that I would love you for the time that we had but that one day you would be gone. I loved you for a lifetime in the years that we shared and I thank god for the time that we had.

Trying to accept this now, is beyond anything I could have imagined. I have never felt so alone, so scared, so empty. You were everything to me, my heart, my soul, my love. I knew your mind, I knew your soul, I knew you so deeply, and we never ever touched.

You always said you wished we’d met when we were young but my Darling, we met exactly when we were meant to. We shared a love that most will never know. My heart is broken and I am grieving you with every breath but I am so thankful for the time I had with you. I have every moment we ever shared and one day I will be able to breathe again.

byefornow my Angel

Thursday, February 15, 2018

February Wind

on a warm February evening

I sit and listen to the wind

it rustles through the trees

unseasonal warmth covering me

strange, on a day like this

that I just want to leave this place

to drive off into the dark of night

never to return again

I feel disconnected from everything

there is nothing that holds me still

yet I cannot seem to move

the spiral spinning my head

empty as a I toss and turn

I feel you slipping away 

literally and figuratively

paralyzed, I cannot move

I’ve never been here without you

in this place I cannot call  home

and now the loneliness stings

my legs burning with the need to run

the wind roars and howls

it sounds like the inside of me

yet on the outside no one would know

the numbness that won’t set me free