I awaken again disheveled
everything all askew.
including me all wrapped up
in these feelings of missing you.
I have heard those sounds again all night long.
the sounds of you calling out.
but now I know that it’s just me
calling out to you.
I mistook the things you said
the things I felt when I heard your words.
to be the same things that I was saying to you
that’s the problem sometimes with words.
tone and texture, are hard to discern
though I thought I heard your voice.
but I guess I heard what I wanted to hear
in every word you said.
so slowly I will unravel
untwist myself from this mess.
unwind, unfurl what has become unhinged
and tighten it all up again.
reattach the latches
that keep everything in place.
tighten the screws and turn the keys
and keep everything where it belongs.
in here safe from misconception
from the things I just can’t understand.
it’s ironic isn’t it, that I am the one
who got all of this so wrong.
with all that you know and have learned
you know that this is what I must do.
to find my way back to myself
and out of this place I now stand.
some of this is yours
and some of this is mine.
we made the mistake of mixing it all
together and letting it grow.
into something that had a life of its own
but wasn’t supposed to be.
but now that thing must be tended to
and slowly rocked back to sleep.
where it can lie quietly alone
where it is to remain.
where it can be at peace again
and won’t bother us anymore.
there will be strings and strings of words
that will form the bridge to me.
the things that will connect me again
to what right now is lost.
read all of those words one more time
and understand why this is.
how it happened, what went wrong
don’t make that same mistake again.
I know where I went
and where I have to go now.
I’m going to miss you for a little while
but I’ll see you once again.