Sunday, May 12, 2013

Dreaming the pain

Another sleepless night

spent tossing and turning.

Discomfort and pain

forcing me awake.

Move from side to side

shift this way and that.

Tonight is not the night

to rest my head.

After literally hours and hours

exhaustion finally wins.

I drift off to sleep

and deeply into dreams.

Soon it begins again

and the pain is creeping in.

It manifests itself

within those dreams.

I dream that I am dragging

a leg that will not move.

That I cannot walk

I can barely even stand.

Falling to the floor

my body writhes in pain.

The pain so deep

I want to cut it out.

Driving a knife into my thigh

in an attempt to ease the pain.

Pounding with fists on my leg

an agony I cannot escape.

The intensity soars, the ache

becomes a living, breathing thing.

There is no escape, no reprieve

I am screaming for relief.

I awaken slowly covered in tears

I was dreaming the pain again.

I get up and walk the halls

until it eventually subsides.
***I have two degenerating discs that cause some hip problems. I found a way through exercise to keep it under control but if I don't stick to a very regular habit of that or if I work too many hours it really acts up. I'm generally on my feet 10 hours a day and am going into my 10th day without a day off today, hence last night's sleep. I do literally dream the pain and wake up crying and have to walk the pain away and then try to lay down again. Makes for some long nights.



  1. I so relate to this. Sometimes (for me) it works best to just get out of bed for a while. I hope you can find relief.

  2. Chronic pain is torture. You seem to know the answer... the regular exercise routine. Hope you find a way to make that a daily thing.