There are so many things I would like to say now
but I will just slip silently away.
It’s not my place, it’s not my time
and it wouldn’t matter now.
You could be anything you wanted to be
why are you allowing yourself this?
To be lost and broken with no idea how to heal
so you just start running again.
Self-professed and self-proclaimed
I feel like you’ve just given up.
Accepted that this is who you will be
so you can fall back into it again.
You are more than this why can’t you see it?
more than who you’re allowing yourself to be.
Take the time and sit with yourself
I wish you could see what I see.
You are amazing and wonderful and brilliant
with a passion that wants to live.
But you are slowly killing away the chance
that it will ever thrive on its own.
You’re sorry for the choices you’ve made
sorry for the things you’ve done.
Stop doing it! This is not who you ultimately are
go away and find out on your own.
As I sit here with myself day after day
and those days have turned into months.
I remember the me that I lost in this
and I am finding the one I didn’t know.
You just need to listen to the silence
even though it sometimes makes you scream.
It is painful and the scariest place I’ve ever been
but I know there is a reason I’m here.
I’ve tried to numb it and disappear
I’ve tried to run away and hide.
I’ve cut and cut and could not bleed enough to die
so I came back and sat down with myself.
I’m trying to listen to the whispers
not just the loudest screams.
To learn to sing myself to sleep
in the long quiet darkness of night.
I hope you can find a way to hear yours too
there is something beautiful in there to hear.
I hope we can both find ourselves again
and someday find our way home.