Sunday, June 24, 2012

Nightmares Return

I know why I’m afraid of the dark

I know what goes bump in the night.

I know why the panic paralyzes me

so when will it just let me go.

I know where it came from; I know where it’s been

and I know why it’s back here now.

But it really can’t get any worse than this

I’m alone as I’ve ever been.

There’s nowhere for me to go home to,

nothing that feels safe or warm.

Nothing that I feel connected to or part of

I’m just waiting for the time to move on.

To place with nothing and no one

at least there won’t be you.

Or you and her that I’d have to see

at least it won’t be here.

I just want to sleep through the night

or for a few simple hours please.

I’m tired of waking up with a start

with my pulse pounding out of my chest.

There’s nothing left to be afraid of

you’re gone and you left me alone.

Without word, thought, or gesture you just disappeared

you knew I was here all alone.

It would have been nice if we could have been friends

but you know that will never be.

That would have meant that you actually cared about me

and that never seemed to really be true.

It was just about you and who you wanted to chase

and I just wanted you to chase me.

But as soon as you caught me the chase was over

and I was left wondering why I wasn’t enough.

Maybe that’s why the ghosts are haunting me again

because I don’t even believe anymore.

That somehow, someday, I will have more than this

the broken pieces just won’t fit together again.


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