Days that are hard

It doesn’t matter how smart you are

doesn’t matter how much you know.

It doesn’t matter how much you learn

or how much ‘work’ you do.

The thing that remains the same

for each and every one of us.

Is that when it hurts, it hurts, and really

there is nothing that you can do.

I know you’re gone and you’ve moved on

without a pause or even a breath.

I know you hurt me, I know that you lied

and that I’m probably better off.

I still miss the dreams I had

the ones I made with you.

I still miss our life and love

because for me all of it was real.

I don’t know when it ended for you

and I’ll never know that now.

You kept me guessing right up to the end

so much so that I doubt everything.

I don’t know what was real with you

I have no idea who you are.

I only know what it meant to me

and that is what I will mourn.

I can almost breathe in the daylight hours

except today, I’m here drowning in tears.

But I still cannot make it through the night

without waking to the pain of you not being here.

You left a hole in me that will never be filled

by anyone or anything else.

I told you once that if it wasn’t you

that I would never love anyone again.

I meant it then, I mean it now

I just can’t give away my heart.

Give that power to someone else

and let them break it at will.

I can’t see the point of any of it now

your lies changed everything for me.

There is nothing to remember, no ‘good times we had’

there is no comfort in any of it.

I still don’t understand so much of this

all of it happened so fast.

Well, for me it did anyway

I know that for you that’s not the case.

I’m lonely, I’m sad and these days hit me hard

and sometimes I just have to sit here and cry.

I don’t even wish you’d come back anymore

I just wish that my heart would stop breaking.