Lingering Dreams

Please just go and get out of my dreams

get out of my unconscious mind.

You fill up my dreams and take up my thoughts

and leave a bleeding stain on my heart.

You’re in every shadow and crevice

every dark, quiet place.

Ironic now since when you were here

I couldn’t find you at all.

But now you linger and leave traces

of memories and hopes long lost.

A constant reminder of what I no longer have

and how alone I am now.

I keep seeing you when I close my eyes

so much so that I don’t want to sleep.

But I am exhausted from fighting this battle each day

and I’m sick of being so awake.

Sick of being clear and aware and raw

sick of knowing too well all that I feel.

Sick of being lonely, sick of being sad,

I just want to drift off for a while.

But every time I do, there you are

and unfortunately so is she.

There with you, living the life that was mine

and here I am just trying to breathe.

I can’t get rid of the images,

of the things that will never be erased.

The things I never should have had to see

but that was the only way to get the truth.

I remember now that I deserve more

than you ever gave to me.

But I can’t forget how much I loved

and how much I believed in you.