Please just go and get out of my dreams
get out of my unconscious mind.
You fill up my dreams and take up my thoughts
and leave a bleeding stain on my heart.
You’re in every shadow and crevice
every dark, quiet place.
Ironic now since when you were here
I couldn’t find you at all.
But now you linger and leave traces
of memories and hopes long lost.
A constant reminder of what I no longer have
and how alone I am now.
I keep seeing you when I close my eyes
so much so that I don’t want to sleep.
But I am exhausted from fighting this battle each day
and I’m sick of being so awake.
Sick of being clear and aware and raw
sick of knowing too well all that I feel.
Sick of being lonely, sick of being sad,
I just want to drift off for a while.
But every time I do, there you are
and unfortunately so is she.
There with you, living the life that was mine
and here I am just trying to breathe.
I can’t get rid of the images,
of the things that will never be erased.
The things I never should have had to see
but that was the only way to get the truth.
I remember now that I deserve more
than you ever gave to me.
But I can’t forget how much I loved
and how much I believed in you.