Friday, June 15, 2012

First Step To The Finish

There is something quietly uneventful

about making the right choice.

Something anticlimactic

about deciding to let go.

It’s been a battle fought hard

and a battle slowly won.

But I believe today I have taken a step

and will keep moving away from here.

That day was a turning point within me

six months almost to the day that you left.

When that ring left my hand and flew across the river

and sunk to the bottom I quietly exhaled.

It will always be here now in the place where I loved you

when I leave I don’t have to carry it with me again.

You now have changed this place for me forever

and it will never be the magical place that it was.

Finally seeing your actions loud and clear

the complete and total absence of respect.

You swore to me I was the most important thing in your life

words, empty words, the truth would have hurt so much less.

Continuing to tell me that you’re hurting

and mourning and grieving the loss of us.

Confuses me more than any words I’ve ever heard

do you dry your tears on her pillow at night?

I don’t need any of this anymore

I don’t need someone to treat me like this.

To lie and hide things and make me out for the fool

take your pretty words and give them to her.

You can’t pull me back this time, I’m finished

finished with letting you manipulate my heart.

Finished with letting ambiguity keep me hanging on

when I am clearly not the one you want.

You made the choice I hope it was worth the outcome

I hope that the end justified the means.

You’ve lost something you will never know again

because you didn’t treat it with the care that it deserved.

You’ve never actually owned the things you did

just blanket apologies for choices that were wrong.

You might try saying the words out loud some time

it might just be the first step to assuaging some of that guilt.

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