Saturday, June 9, 2012

Just Let Go

All this talk of letting go like it’s easy

there’s nothing easy about either one of those words.

It’s hard, it hurts, and it takes a piece of you with it

and there will forever be a hole once it’s gone.

Apparently I shouldn’t have to try

I just have to breathe, exhale, and simply let you go.

That’s not the way it happens at least for me

but it seems it is for everybody else.

It was for you, you let me go so long ago

and you held on to her before I was even gone.

I’m stuck here because I don’t know how to let go of you

clinging to something that only existed for me.

I loved you so much from the very first day I saw you

eight years ago but the feeling in me is still new.

It was too soon for us, we weren’t ready

I guess it never really was our time.

The temporary nature of relationships

the fact that they can just end for one and not for both.

It’s just too much for me to take and I’m still in so much pain

but again, I’m the only one still living here.

I need some grand gesture, some way to break away

from this place, from this life, from the memory of your face.

I need to find a way to let go of me

as I’m the only one who seems to be struggling here.

I want to hate you and walk away forever

and it seems that’s what I‘m going to have to do.

Because really with the way you handled all of this

I shouldn’t be the one forgiving you.

The fact that I don’t know how to stop loving you aside,

you cheated on me and that needs to be where I land.

You only told the semi truth when I caught you

and to this day haven’t owned your part in any of it.

Maybe you were trying not to hurt me

maybe you just couldn’t admit what you had done.

These are the things I am going to hold on to now

the anger is so much easier to bear than the pain.

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