I cannot let this need for you derail me
I’m on this road because you put me here.
I can’t forget that you chose not to be with me
and the choices you make can no longer matter to me.
I want to tell you so very many things
about who you are and what I’ve always seen.
But it can no longer be of consequence
when the only one suffering the consequence is me.
This would have been the perfect time and place
for you to walk into yourself and spend some time.
To alone, dig into the things that are driving you away
but you just stopped at the next bump in the road.
It doesn’t have to be the life you’ve chosen
you are not defined by this, I swear.
But you are setting a dangerous pattern, affecting not only you
be careful my love of the choices that lead you here.
I have to take my mind away from thoughts of you again
and remember you are the one who broke my heart.
The problem is I love you just as much as I’m still in love
and for my heart that may never ever change.
I care about what happens to you but I have to put me first
and I have to quietly slip away alone.
To disappear into this place of trying to understand
how I can become myself again.
I wish peace for you and your ever searching heart
and hope that one day you find it in yourself.
It’s not out there in someone else and you know that
you just tore yourself to shreds and can’t see it now.
I’ll be moving down my road again
digging and searching deep for what I’ve lost.
Maybe one day our paths will bring us back
to a place where we can smile when meet.