want...need

Today I despise the need

yet I celebrate its validation of life.

I hate the way that it strips me bare

defenseless and exposed.

I want to feel it, all of it

so on pages I can write it down.

I want to dance with reckless abandon

and never feel ashamed.

I want to be raw and pure and true

and I want you to see me.

But I don’t want you to know that I want to

because you will take the things that I need.

I want to be transparent

I want to be lighter than air.

I want to be a feather caught in the wind

I don’t want to care where I land.

I want to bleed for you

and watch you paint yourself red.

In the colours of me, in the knowing of you

in the freedom to speak these words.

I want to sleep like a baby

after letting myself go.

Without the fear that I will awake to find

that I am once again here alone.

I want everything and I want nothing

because nothing leaves me safe.

What would be lost or missing

if I just take it away?