Something fractured, broken
something forever changed.
To never again be the soul
that I once so dearly loved.
I’ve lost that innate smile
that lightness in my heart.
I’ve lost the will to dream
those dreams
that moved me through each day.
I’m doing it, don’t get me
wrong
moving through some life.
But not the one I wanted
it’s gone and that’s all there
is.
I get it, I know, that’s life
and it changes
and roll with it, I have.
But I can’t seem to get to a
place
where this isn’t all there is.
I really just want to throw in
the towel
but I’ve been sober for 13
days.
The fight is daily, the battle
fierce
and my resolve is foreign to
me.
I don’t really know where the
fight is coming from
the determination to be more
than this.
But it is carrying me quite
literally
on newly formed muscle and
wings.
Physical strength taking the
place
of the heart that once fueled
my soul.
Spirit gone yet something
remains
but it is hollow and shallow
now.
For dversepoets.com
Open Link Night Week 86
Hang in there. Where there's life there's hope. You'll be dancing soon!
ReplyDeleteI know the feeling all to well, and one thing I can tell you is, no, this is not all there is. Do the best you can do every day!
ReplyDelete13 days is a great start....hopefully you have someone to walk this road with you...that def helped me along in my own journey....
ReplyDeleteI admire your honesty in this poem and your resolve. One day at a time. And you will find that lightness in your heart again! 13 days can be the beginning of the rest of your life.
ReplyDeleteI know these feelings so well-expressed. Don't give up.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on 13 days! I promise, it gets better.
ReplyDelete