Tonight I find myself sleepless again. I picked up my guitar and sang myself lullabies. I played U2's Running To Stand Still, which is one of my favorites songs to sing, and this is what it gave me.
In the deepest dark of night
I find myself again.
Alone and lying sleepless
with ghosts hovering over my head.
Spirits and shadows casting
images on my walls.
And even further into my mind
and my heartbeat quickens its pace.
I always wish for lullabies
for songs sung in the dark.
For a warm voice to wrap itself around me
and take me back to my dreams.
I wish for the comfort of soothing words
floating on feathered wings.
Like something the angels left on the wind
that blew over me like a breeze.
Tonight I got up and turned on a light
that cast a cool blue over the room.
I picked up my guitar and played for myself
a quiet lullaby.
With my outstretched hand I muted the strings
the sound was a quiet echo.
In a whispered voice I felt the words
of a story of a girl.
The story is one of trying
of hope in the face of despair.
About raising your voice without making a sound
about raging to find yourself.
It is hopeful through its images
of a dark and broken place.
It is strong within its silence
a quiet driving force.
It peaks just before the final words
which come in a soundless breath.
And drifts off to a sweet wordless melody
against the pace of a beating heart.
Whatever left me sleepless
has left me with this song.
I lay my guitar down next to me
and close my eyes again.