Today I despise the need
yet I celebrate its validation of life.
I hate the way that it strips me bare
defenseless and exposed.
I want to feel it, all of it
so on pages I can write it down.
I want to dance with reckless abandon
and never feel ashamed.
I want to be raw and pure and true
and I want you to see me.
But I don’t want you to know that I want to
because you will take the things that I need.
I want to be transparent
I want to be lighter than air.
I want to be a feather caught in the wind
I don’t want to care where I land.
I want to bleed for you
and watch you paint yourself red.
In the colours of me, in the knowing of you
in the freedom to speak these words.
I want to sleep like a baby
after letting myself go.
Without the fear that I will awake to find
that I am once again here alone.
I want everything and I want nothing
because nothing leaves me safe.
What would be lost or missing
if I just take it away?