Trying to...

I can’t escape this feeling that I’m nothing

the feeling that there is nothing left for me.

I feel like I’ve lost everything I ever had

when the reality is that I lost what was never mine.

I can’t let go of this aching, driving pain

well, the reality is, it won’t let go of me.

It haunts me when I cannot sleep, it haunts me when I dream

I’m trying to not to let it take every bit of me.

I don’t know why I miss you, why I love you

I never could have meant that much to you.

I think you thought I was someone else, I know I thought you were

and I guess I miss the girl that never was.

I feel like I’m trapped inside this shell of someone

going through the motions of a life.

Trying to make it through each day and trying to run from here

trying to find some way to start again.

I know everyone has someone leave them

and they move on and start again with someone else.

But for me this was the end of the world and I’m broken

and I don’t ever want to feel this way again.

There’s no next time, no someone new for me

no perfect person who now I’m ready for.

There’s me who’ll live a life alone, trying to understand

why any of this happened in the first place.

I cannot give my heart away again

you weren’t the first but you surely are the last.

I don’t know how to do this and I always end up here

shattered and hollow and trying to ease the pain.