I still miss you every day and it’s stupid
stupid, really, because you are so far away.
Far away from me and the life we shared
far away from the girl that I once knew.
None of it even matters now
we’ll never speak again.
I’ll never see your face
and we’ll never be friends.
Even though I miss you with a passion
I can’t forget the things you said and did.
I can’t forgive what you’re not sorry for
you’re only sorry that you got caught and I know.
So again, it’s stupid with all that being said
that I would miss someone who treated me this way.
But I do and I’m the idiot who still dreams of you each night
and wants to be able to blame it all on her.
You are the one who did this and I know that
whether or not it was ever really about us.
I knew you would do this one day, when you did this with me
and I should have been strong enough to do what I knew was right.
I wanted to believe that you truly loved me
in that short time how could it possibly have been true.
I only knew that I had loved you for such a long time
and whatever made me believe I still can’t let go.
It’s eating away a giant piece of my soul
but at least now it will match my savagely broken heart.
A hollow place inside me that will always hold that dream
no matter how foolish, how stupid, I can’t let it go.
It’s a feeling an emotion pure and strong
something that is set deep within the center of me.
I can’t shake it, I can’t reason with it, tell it what to do
most of the time it is leading the way.
So I simply try to live with it and nurse it
feed the open wounds with tender care.
Try and heal and maybe one day it will only be a scar
instead of this thing that is bleeding my life away.