Gone

Caught within the whirl and twirl

of a spinning downward spiral.

Knocked off balance

swept by the current alone.

Upended, turned upside down

not knowing which way is up.

Trying desperately to place

at least one foot back on the ground.

I’ve fallen from the place where I had been clinging

and hanging on tightly with simple resolve.

Now I’m spinning and falling at a pace I can’t control

and with a swiftness I am being dragged away.

I don’t care where I land at this point

let it take me.

Let it drag me from this place

I don’t want to be here.

I don’t want to wake up or function

or move from where I am.

I want to go back to sleep and stay there

for years and years. 

I want to go back to a time

before all of this happened.

A time before

I found myself here in this place.

I’m tired of fighting,

 tired of having to dig in for all of my strength.

I’m tired of it being

this thing that won’t go away.

I don’t care anymore, I don’t care anymore

can’t I just forget it?

I don’t want to think or feel

or deal with anymore of this.

I want to walk away into

some fading sunset.

And be gone before

the light from tomorrow breaks.

There is nothing

that will signify my absence.

There is already so much missing

there is too much space to fill.