Caught within the whirl and twirl
of a spinning downward spiral.
Knocked off balance
swept by the current alone.
Upended, turned upside down
not knowing which way is up.
Trying desperately to place
at least one foot back on the ground.
I’ve fallen from the place where I had been clinging
and hanging on tightly with simple resolve.
Now I’m spinning and falling at a pace I can’t control
and with a swiftness I am being dragged away.
I don’t care where I land at this point
let it take me.
Let it drag me from this place
I don’t want to be here.
I don’t want to wake up or function
or move from where I am.
I want to go back to sleep and stay there
for years and years.
I want to go back to a time
before all of this happened.
A time before
I found myself here in this place.
I’m tired of fighting,
tired of having to dig in for all of my strength.
I’m tired of it being
this thing that won’t go away.
I don’t care anymore, I don’t care anymore
can’t I just forget it?
I don’t want to think or feel
or deal with anymore of this.
I want to walk away into
some fading sunset.
And be gone before
the light from tomorrow breaks.
There is nothing
that will signify my absence.
There is already so much missing
there is too much space to fill.