Small

I guess today had to be one of those days

those days when I just don’t feel very tall.

I feel a little bit like the absent shadow

that can’t be found on bright and sunny days.

It wasn’t even sunny, today it was dark and gray

but I started out with the highest hopes and dreams.

I ran until I couldn’t run anymore

and for five miles I walked the rest of the way home.

I was going to go and play those songs tonight

the ones that I have written since you left.

But I remember all too clearly the last time I played there

and how you disrespected me and I couldn’t face it today.

I couldn’t go and do this thing alone

and, of course, there wasn’t anyone to ask.

So I stayed here by myself and wandered off into a book

and passed the day quietly alone.

I battled hard today against the darkness

and where, on days like this, I usually go.

But today I kept my head above the waterline

still wrapped in sadness at least I know I did not fail.

I didn’t do the thing I wanted to do today

but I didn’t let the darkness take me down.

Down to the depth and bury me in the abyss of all this pain

and leave me used up and tossed no better than before.