Friday, July 27, 2012

There are no fairy tales

Can you see her? I can’t see her either anymore

and I wonder where she has gone.

She was once visible and even transparent

she wore her heart on her sleeve.

She was sure, at least, of herself

she was pure in thought and deed.

She acted simply out of love

and this need she had to believe.

She believed in magic and ever after

she believed in fairy tales.

She was sure that dragons and fairies existed

but she now knows it was just pretend.

That grownups just can’t live like that

in worlds where dreams come true.

When the dream consists of others

and having to let them in.

It was so easy in my little room

where I could hide away with my heart.

But you knocked on the door and I let you in

and I’ve never dreamed out loud again.

Something changed in me that I didn’t understand

I thought that you loved me and that was enough.

But something died when I lived by your rules

and forgot to feed my heart.

Maybe you loved me once

but we were both horrible at this.

We didn’t know how to talk to each other

and we didn’t know how to hear.

I kept listening for the things that I needed to hear

instead what I heard was your need.

I let that become the only sound

that echoed through my ears.

You broke my heart early on in the game

and I should have stopped playing then.

It changed me forever, I was never the same

and looking back that was really the end.

When you can’t voice your needs because you know

that the outcome won’t be changed.

It’s time to pack your things and walk away

while you still have your pride.

 I lost mine, I left it lying there

on the floor where I knelt before you.

Where I told you I loved you and swore to you

that I would always believe.

It doesn’t matter if I believed in you

you never believed in me.

I spent years and years waiting and wishing to feel

something that was never going to come.

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