It’s just a constant struggle
a series of back and forth movement.
An up and down cycle
a desperate need for change.
Growth comes slowly
in tiny, fragile steps.
In words repeated over and over
until they are ringing in your head.
You have to cry and ache and mourn
sing funeral songs and weep.
You have to struggle, fight, and bleed
all in the name of love.
It’s now in vain, of course,
as the love no longer exists.
But trying to heal and find you again
in the aftermath of what was.
It’s so sick and twisted and shameful
that this is what becomes.
Of a life lived together and hearts once joined
as they are cast off and left on the ground.
It’s all just temporary, passing of time
until someone else comes along.
No one ever really heals
they just transfer it on to the next.
That’s why I’ve given up on all of this ‘love’
this ‘commitment’, this ‘forever’.
I don’t need it, don’t want it, won’t go there again
there is no point when all of it just ends.
We become memories and strangers
in a simple moment’s time.
And there is always one who is treated
with so much less than care.
I’m sorry but it’s not worth
the cost of all this loss.
When we were a family, now I’m here
and you are there.