Thursday, November 17, 2011

Haunted Night

Swirling tendrils of misty air rising
curling shadow that is hypnotizing.
Clang! Clang!  the rattle of a chain.
open doors , I am gone again.
The ghosts are hovering right over me
like a veil that is clouding all I see.

Distant sounds are sneaking in through my ears
the baying hounds awaken all my fears.
Run! Run! They are following you
try and catch me I’ll wait for you.
There are mysteries out in this dark night
there are spirits and they have taken flight.

Something unspoken is haunting my soul
a long lost token that won’t let me go.
Gasp! Gasp! As it touches my hand
scream as I feel it once again.
The past is a ghost from which you can’t hide
embrace him he is already inside.
 Written for dVerse Poets Form For All
Staccato Form
www.dversepoets.com

14 comments:

  1. Great poem. I love the supernatural feel to this piece. Great job with adhering to the staccato form. I found it a bit restrictive with the syllabic constraints, but fun still, yet I could only get two stanzas out. You really made it seem effortless, so fluid and seamless a painting here. Thanks

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  2. All right!! I like this. especially the clincher at the end.

    good job.

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  3. Eerie and compelling. You show the effective use of the repeats in line 3 of each stanza. The ending is wonderful.

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  4. What a fantastic ending! Love it!

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  5. Haunting and also philosophic. I loved the ending and thought it was very true. You managed every element of the form perfectly save one. You didn't repeat the exclamatory word as the first of the last line in each stanza. That seems to be picking at threads when the entire garment is so beautifully constructed. I don't think with any form, one has to be a slave to it. It's good to know the constraints and then it's OK to skirt them. This was compelling and beautiful.

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  6. Great flow, message, and execution of the form.

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  7. Fun! It seems as if it just ripped off your pen with ease! I really, really struggled.

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  8. bwahahaha...smiles. love a good ghost story and this was right up that alley great use of language to set the tone of this as well...

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  9. I enjoyed this. The last two lines are wonderful!

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  10. Well captured. A little spooky... Love that last stanza!

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  11. definitely spooky...awesome :)

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  12. that last stanza is chilling. gasp, gasp and that the ghost of the past in already inside of us - I love it!

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  13. I love this! I so enjoy these haunting, mysterious types of writings. You did wonderfully well with this form.

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  14. Very clever tale in this tricky poetic form. I tried too, but too late for the deadline. Thanks for sharing this haunting tale.

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