This is motion, this is fluid
something flowing back and forth.
This is moment to moment, this is up and down
this is breathing out and in.
I feel you come, I feel you go
each movement wrapped in its own inevitability.
Here is where I quietly sit
and partake in the practice of balance.
I am learning to stand again
shedding the weight of the cloak of numb.
I am peeling back layers of thickly scarred skin
exposing the bleeding and raw.
The pain pools in puddles at me feet
every nerve and fiber alive.
Writhing and twisting in the agony of feeling
feeling slightly insane.
Desperately searching for the haven of a shadow
for a moment’ s respite from pain.
I am reaching and grasping with fingers outstretched
for something onto which I can hold.
Something to ground me, secure me to myself
yet I am just too jagged and raw.
Something within me that is strong enough
to carry me out of this place.
All of the tools that I once possessed
and the things that I leaned on are gone.
There is nothing but me in this empty room
learning to be alive again.