Motion, fluid

This is motion, this is fluid

something flowing back and forth.

This is moment to moment, this is up and down

this is breathing out and in.

I feel you come, I feel you go

each movement wrapped in its own inevitability.

Here is where I quietly sit

and partake in the practice of balance.

I am learning to stand again

shedding the weight of the cloak of numb.

I am peeling back layers of thickly scarred skin

exposing the bleeding and raw.

The pain pools in puddles at me feet

every nerve and fiber alive.

Writhing and twisting in the agony of feeling

feeling slightly insane.

Desperately searching for the haven of a shadow

for a moment’ s respite from pain.

I am reaching and grasping with fingers outstretched

for something onto which I can hold.

Something to ground me, secure me to myself

yet I am just too jagged and raw.

Something within me that is strong enough

to carry me out of this place.

All of the tools that I once possessed

and the things that I leaned on are gone.

There is nothing but me in this empty room

learning to be alive again.