The desire to dive into an open bottle
and fall into a blurry haze
of numbness and warmth
is a treacherous and slippery illusion.
The ache, the need,
the want for something
to take you away from here
to a place where nothing hurts.
The search for that feeling
from the very first swallow
where the heat seeps into your veins
and you feel as if you are alive.
The feeling of living without fear
and without self-doubt.
The feeling is fleeting and this is where
the illusion draws you in
you never find this place again
as it never really existed.
The desperate attempts
the bloody wars
that are fought
in your battle weary soul.
Feet firmly placed
on lines drawn in the sand
the fight for your life
This is the moment that defines you
the difference between a soul
that has fought savagely for its freedom
and the one that has given in.