Defining Moments

The desire to dive into an open bottle

and fall into a blurry haze

of numbness and warmth

is a treacherous and slippery illusion.

The ache, the need,

the want for something

to take you away from here

to a place where nothing hurts.

The search for that feeling

from the very first swallow

where the heat seeps into your veins

and you feel as if you are alive.

The feeling of living without fear

without consequence

without hesitation

and without self-doubt.

The feeling is fleeting and this is where

the illusion draws you in

you never find this place again

 as it never really existed.

The desperate attempts

the bloody wars

that are fought

in your battle weary soul.

Feet firmly placed

on lines drawn in the sand

the fight for your life

invisibly commences.

This is the moment that defines you

the difference between a soul

that has fought savagely for its freedom

and the one that has given in.