Where do you go,
when the light is just too bright?
What can you hear,
when the sounds are just too loud?
Are there moments and days when all you can see
is the sun eclipsing the moon?
Are there words spoken in voices raw
that drain out all of the meaning?
On days like these, when the sun is high
I begin looking for places to hide.
I want to crawl into a bottle and plunge
into the warm shadowed depth of its numb.
The first splash is shocking, a jolt to the soul
starting everything moving at once.
The heat, the breath, the pain, the ache
the intoxication momentarily real.
It lasts only seconds and the warm slowly fades
the desperate chase ensues.
Trying to capture, in vain, to regain
that feeling, yet it never returns.
It can easily become a lifetime’s quest
to once again touch that place.
Where your soul felt loose and your spirit free,
at least you thought it did.
With that first swallow, first hit, first step of the chase
you wrap yourself up tightly in chains.
Condemned to the hell of the search that won’t end
until it defines every fiber of your being.
Step outside on bright sunny days
even if it leaves you, for a moment, blind.
Listen to the screaming and let it fill your mind
lest you fall into the depths of this hole.
Walk across the broken glass
as the bottle hits the floor.
Feel the pain of your bleeding feet
with footsteps steady and slow.