Struggle

I don’t want to love you anymore

I don’t even want to like you and right now that is easier.

I can feel this, at the depth of my soul

what is happening is crystal clear.

All of this is digging at me, tearing at me

breaking me into smaller damaged pieces of myself.

Distance, disregard, disinterest and disdain

weigh heavily upon my worn and weary heart.

I am building up this wall of stone

against the emptiness of your absence.

I am crawling into the safety of myself

as my faith in you starts to fade.

The ice is thin, the branches breaking,

there is nothing firm on which to stand.

With a fiery vengeance I resent you

for giving me cause to feel this way.

Is this what remains of all that was built

and tended from the tiniest seeds?

I struggle to breathe and pray not to feel

and I search for a place to stand.