Excerpts 5

Excerpts are poems that I write directly from dreams, If I can remember them clearly enough to write them, I think there is a significant message in them for me. Usually, it's in the dialogue and generally very few words. This one was pretty clear to me.

I find my place in line

behind a woman and her two sons.

The throng of people stretched out before me

in a row defined by two red metal bars.

The tension in the air is palpable

anxiousness, excitement grows.

For some, it’s fear and hesitation

and distractions are needed for them.

The line moves slowly forward

we take only a few steps at a time.

Drawing imminently nearer

to the gate and that 48” sign.

The boys in front of me are arguing

pushing each other back and forth.

The taller one telling the smaller one

you’re not big enough for this!

You can see the trepidation

the dismay on his face.

The mother hushes the two of them again

and tells them to stand up straight.

As we move forward again I just listen

caught up in the many ways people pass the time.

Telling stories, laughing, joking

some just staring into space.

The nervous ones you can pick out of the crowd

they usually look a bit sick.

Or they’re having arguments or tense conversation

with the person standing next to them.

I, again, am just waiting

here in my place in this line.

Another step forward and the moment nears

the anticipation builds.

Soon we are at the platform

and the boys in front of me scream!

The taller one was right and the smaller one

will have to wait another year.

His mother takes his hand

and leads him down the stairs.

The other boy jumps into the front seat

and I step in next to him.

The safety latch is lowered

low and snug across our laps.

I wrap my hands around it

ready to hold on tight.

The boy looks over at me

at my hands clutched around that bar.

He says, “No, you have to raise your arms,

like this, up in the air!”

I’m not sure about this as the car begins to move

and we start the climb up the first hill.

Click, click, click, click

as the climb seems to have slowed time.

I feel the fear rising and my stomach

rises up into my chest.

A few more clicks and we’ll be at the top

ready to descend.

As we reach the top the car stops

and begins to teeter back and forth.

Then with a slight tip forward it feels

as if the ground has fallen away.

The feeling of being weightless

of falling freely through the air.

Fills me with a feeling of terror

and I hold again to that rail.

The boy is screaming, hands in the air

and he looks over at me and says.

“Don’t be afraid, you won’t fall

just LET GO!”

As we fall at a breakneck speed

I take my hands off the rail.

With a noise I’ve never made before

I raise my hands in the air and scream.