it’s time for your name to stop running
in circles around in my mind.
I’ve said it so many times
it has wrapped itself around my tongue.
it causes me to stutter,
to trip on phrases and words.
so that is seems like I keep saying the same thing
over and over again.
it’s time for me to stop hearing
that story in my head.
the one where you cried over that tiny box
the one that made me see red.
that box sits across the room from me where
it’s been staring at me for weeks.
with the note beside it that says, ‘you matter’
it was all I wanted to say.
but since your name can no longer pass my lips
it’s just a memory I will keep.
one that will remind me
of all the mistakes I made.
it reminds me that my heart still beats
but must be kept under lock and key.
it does not possess the skills to be out there alone
it always loses its way.
it’s time that I stop remembering
that soft sound in your voice.
almost like a whisper, a knowing
that made me believe that you heard.
it’s time that I stop wondering
about what was really true.
we each have our own stories
and they don’t end the same way.
it’s time that I stop hearing
the things you are saying now.
while you have to say what you need to say
it just seems to break my heart.
you’ve made it very clear
that this never should have been.
I’m inclined now to agree with you
I’m sick of feeling like this.
still not understanding
why I thought a different ending would be.
my heart feels like it's been broken
and it is time to let this go.