It's time...

 

 

it’s time for your name to stop running

in circles around in my mind.

I’ve said it so many times

it has wrapped itself around my tongue.

it causes me to stutter,

to trip on phrases and words.

so that is seems like I keep saying the same thing

over and over again.

it’s time for me to stop hearing

that story in my head.

the one where you cried over that tiny box

the one that made me see red.

that box sits across the room from me where

it’s been staring at me for weeks.

with the note beside it that says, ‘you matter’

it was all I wanted to say.

but since your name can no longer pass my lips

it’s just a memory I will keep.

one that will remind me

of all the mistakes I made.

it reminds me that my heart still beats

but must be kept under lock and key.

it does not possess the skills to be out there alone

it always loses its way.

it’s time that I stop remembering

that soft sound in your voice.

almost like a whisper, a knowing

that made me believe that you heard.

it’s time that I stop wondering

about what was really true.

we each have our own stories

and they don’t end the same way.

it’s time that I stop hearing

the things you are saying now.

while you have to say what you need to say

it just seems to break my heart.

you’ve made it very clear

that this never should have been.

I’m inclined now to agree with you

I’m sick of feeling like this.

still not understanding

why I thought a different ending would be.

my heart feels like it's been broken

and it is time to let this go.

 

7/5/13