Sunshine

At 6:30 am in a hotel lobby, before I could even smell the coffee, a very lovely soul crossed my path. She was delightfully pleasant and warm and happier than anyone I’ve ever met. she had me smiling from ear to ear and feeling very changed in a way that I haven’t felt lately.

 

While I sat eating breakfast, talking with a co-worker and listening to the day’s news, I saw her approach us again. She pulled two boxes of mints from her pocket and handed us each one and with a wink said, ‘for later’. She then leaned over and gave us both huge hugs and wished us a wonderful day. When she pulled away I saw her name tag, ‘Sunshine’, well of course…

 

I said, “Your Momma knew something didn’t she?” She laughed and said, “I know not everyone does it or believes it but I choose to rejoice, every day.” and off she went to finish her ‘rounds.

 

When I walked over for my second cup of coffee, she was deep in conversation with a woman whose day did not appear to be going so well. She gave her that same warm hug but this time as she pulled away, she raised her arms and began to sing, “You are my sunshine…” She sang the entire song at full volume in one of the most soulful voices I have ever heard. The hair on my arms stood on end and I got chills all over my body. When she finished the room was silent and I started the applause. She then as if nothing happened went back to greeting all and handing out mints and hugs.

 

The rest of my day had a bit of a glow around it following such an experience but as it progressed, life began to happen again. The noise of everyday life kept threatening my quiet calm. Each time the silence was broken, I quietly hummed to myself. As I sat in traffic for hours at the end of my day, I broke out in song at full voice as well. That night I slept like a baby after I sang myself to sleep.

 

Try it when you forget that some things are just noise and that you can sing yourself into peace.

 

“you are my sunshine…”

a poet's death

there is currently no poetry in my world

 empty pages beckons to me to speak

there is no time for me within my day

to stop, to breathe, to dream, to exhale

a lone soul, I came into this place

where beauty is vast and breathtaking

but life and its demands have nailed me

to the cross like some martyr to commerce

I have entered this land of strangers

where not an ounce of trust exists

and am not in a place

where I can protect myself

hyper aware, constantly in defense

of things that should not be taking up my time

no place to let down the upheld guard

no space to exhale my own need

last night I dreamt that my poet tattoo

simply rubbed off the surface of my skin

that is wasn’t truly etched into me

as the definition of who I know I am

the message is strong as I wake today

and am slammed back to reality’s bite

so in defiance I sit typing these words

when I know I ‘should’ be doing something else

I cannot let this environment

take over the content of my soul

I have to quiet the external screams

so that my voice

has room to be heard

she is quiet and timid until sure of herself

and I cultivate her growth

but if I let this world take the core of me

then she will die as well~

 

 

 

 

 

The Game ~ Evolve

sleep was like some sort of game last night

a kind of “catch me if you can”.

from this pain in my head and the crick in my neck

I’m not very good at this game.

I know somewhere I heard a voice saying,

“tag, it’s your turn to play”.

but the sleep that should have been my reward

was not going to have its day.

I kept seeing over and over

things becoming very dark.

shadows playing with light

like a strobe light, stop and start.

there were figures whose form floated eerily

over me where I lay.

and sounds that were not exactly soothing

with far too much to say.

I kept drifting off slowly and then with a twitch

becoming conscious again.

and then there was that blinding question

what the hell am I doing?

this adventure that looms before me

though mystical as it seems.

could also be seen as folly

running off chasing dreams.

into the smoky mountains

where the trees have been known to sing.

I want to hear them talk to me

maybe they have the answers I need.

I’m chasing something that has no name

trying to find one for myself.

I’m tired of the one I’ve been called by.

it’s time to become someone else.

perhaps be defined by the leaves on the trees

and then as they fall to the ground.

with season’s change and life as it moves

evolve~ that has a nice sound.

my aching head is still foggy

and the words are falling out of my mouth.

spilling themselves all over me

but I can clearly make them out.

fear, unsure, unsteady, afraid,

timid, lonely and scared.

it’s almost like taking roll call

the familiar players all there.

the game is about to begin again

are you ready? count to three.

cover your eyes with both hands

and then go seek among the trees~

 

 

 

 

Excerpts 5

Excerpts are poems that I write directly from dreams, If I can remember them clearly enough to write them, I think there is a significant message in them for me. Usually, it's in the dialogue and generally very few words. This one was pretty clear to me.

I find my place in line

behind a woman and her two sons.

The throng of people stretched out before me

in a row defined by two red metal bars.

The tension in the air is palpable

anxiousness, excitement grows.

For some, it’s fear and hesitation

and distractions are needed for them.

The line moves slowly forward

we take only a few steps at a time.

Drawing imminently nearer

to the gate and that 48” sign.

The boys in front of me are arguing

pushing each other back and forth.

The taller one telling the smaller one

you’re not big enough for this!

You can see the trepidation

the dismay on his face.

The mother hushes the two of them again

and tells them to stand up straight.

As we move forward again I just listen

caught up in the many ways people pass the time.

Telling stories, laughing, joking

some just staring into space.

The nervous ones you can pick out of the crowd

they usually look a bit sick.

Or they’re having arguments or tense conversation

with the person standing next to them.

I, again, am just waiting

here in my place in this line.

Another step forward and the moment nears

the anticipation builds.

Soon we are at the platform

and the boys in front of me scream!

The taller one was right and the smaller one

will have to wait another year.

His mother takes his hand

and leads him down the stairs.

The other boy jumps into the front seat

and I step in next to him.

The safety latch is lowered

low and snug across our laps.

I wrap my hands around it

ready to hold on tight.

The boy looks over at me

at my hands clutched around that bar.

He says, “No, you have to raise your arms,

like this, up in the air!”

I’m not sure about this as the car begins to move

and we start the climb up the first hill.

Click, click, click, click

as the climb seems to have slowed time.

I feel the fear rising and my stomach

rises up into my chest.

A few more clicks and we’ll be at the top

ready to descend.

As we reach the top the car stops

and begins to teeter back and forth.

Then with a slight tip forward it feels

as if the ground has fallen away.

The feeling of being weightless

of falling freely through the air.

Fills me with a feeling of terror

and I hold again to that rail.

The boy is screaming, hands in the air

and he looks over at me and says.

“Don’t be afraid, you won’t fall

just LET GO!”

As we fall at a breakneck speed

I take my hands off the rail.

With a noise I’ve never made before

I raise my hands in the air and scream.