How do you move through something you don’t want
how do you accept decisions that you did not make?
How do you reach the place where the pain doesn’t paralyze you
how do you find yourself able to breathe?
There is so much noise, so much language
the voices are having their day.
So many questions, so many opinions
but none of them have anything to say.
Nothing is telling me how to move
or telling me what I should do.
Nothing is giving me comfort
or respite from this pain.
I am using this time to walk through it
to lay down in the middle and mourn.
A little time, a few days left
until I have to return to the world.
The sun is too bright and the light hurts my eyes
old voices are calling my name.
The images of dangerous places
are trying to entice me again.
It’s time to sit still and be silent
don’t make any hasty moves.
Feel it, you’ve never done this before
soon you will know what to do.