Why are there so many words that remain unspoken
why are there so many letters never sent?
So many thoughts, too many feelings scattered loosely
in the ever crowded spaces in my head.
You wouldn’t want to hear them if I said them
wouldn’t want to read the words I wrote.
You didn’t for years and years before now
I don’t expect that anything has changed.
I don’t know why my broken heart still bleeds for you
or why I wake up every night in tears.
Tears for the missing what I once had
tears that you now lay down each night with her.
It wouldn’t matter if I told you how my heart felt
or that I can’t comprehend what you have done.
Why I loved you so much when you so clearly didn’t
and were obviously just waiting to get away from me.
These words and thoughts keep filling up my conscious
ever awake, ever distracted mind.
Every now and then I have to come here and leave them on this page
so I can simply make it through the day.
Your life went on without a hesitation
yet I am still just stuck here in this place.
Trying to understand how not to love you anymore
trying not to let this define who I am.
I am pure and I am broken and I’m bleeding
day after day and night after night.
Trying to stay present in this process
as the scars tattoo themselves across my skin.