Letters Never Sent

Why are there so many words that remain unspoken

why are there so many letters never sent?

So many thoughts, too many feelings scattered loosely

in the ever crowded spaces in my head.

You wouldn’t want to hear them if I said them

wouldn’t want to read the words I wrote.

You didn’t for years and years before now

I don’t expect that anything has changed.

I don’t know why my broken heart still bleeds for you

or why I wake up every night in tears.

Tears for the missing what I once had

tears that you now lay down each night with her.

It wouldn’t matter if I told you how my heart felt

or that I can’t comprehend what you have done.

Why I loved you so much when you so clearly didn’t

and were obviously just waiting to get away from me.

These words and thoughts keep filling up my conscious

ever awake, ever distracted mind.

Every now and then I have to come here and leave them on this page

so I can simply make it through the day.

Your life went on without a hesitation

yet I am still just stuck here in this place.

Trying to understand how not to love you anymore

trying not to let this define who I am.

I am pure and I am broken and I’m bleeding

day after day and night after night.

Trying to stay present in this process

as the scars tattoo themselves across my skin.