I want you to stop being the thing
that changes the shape of my smile.
I want to stop being the words
that so painfully fall from my lips.
I want to be able to walk away
with the ease that you walked from here.
I want to move forward, an upward and on
I’m the only thing that you left behind.
I want to stop feeling, stop bleeding, stop mourning
I want to forget your name.
I want to remember what it was to be me
I want to find myself again.
I want to erase you
from my presently conscious mind.
It’s the only place you exist anymore
you so seamlessly disappeared.
I want to make this hate go away
but really I just cannot.
I want to make this hurt go away
but it just keeps holding on.
I want to let go of all of it
I held on for far too long.
I want to be blissfully ignorant of all that you are
I no longer have to understand.
I want to forget how deliberately
you chose her over me.
I want to forget how you lied about her
while wearing your mask in our bed.
I want to understand why I loved you
when you were clearly out for yourself.
I want to make sure that I never, ever
let anyone do this to me again.