I’m sick of the ‘self-helpy” jargon
that flows like water from your lips.
The sunshiney slogans and bumper sticker lines
that now define who you are.
Not everything wraps up in neat little packages
of ‘no matter what I’m ok!’
Sometimes it’s ugly and bloody and dirty
and we barely make it out alive.
An end is most certainly always an end
when the choices made weren’t yours.
The only beginning is that you are forced
to accept what you didn’t ask for.
This rhetoric sets off a firestorm
of unbridled anger in me.
Could someone simply validate the fact
that I am sitting here writhing in pain.
I don’t want to hear that tomorrow
will surely be a brighter day.
Or that someone better is waiting out there
and I will find my way.
I want to know that you hear me
that my words mean something to you.
That you care that I am dying of a broken heart
and that right now that is all there is.
You can’t save me or fix it, I’m not asking you to
you can’t take away my pain.
But could you tell me you love me and sit with me awhile?
I feel the tears coming again.
This is the cycle, the circle of days
this is what does not end.
This wishing, the praying, the wanting, the ache
the simple need for a friend.
You don’t have to tell me anything
you don’t have to say a word.
Just stop telling me how this has all happened for a reason
and how one day it will all be clear.
I don’t care about one day, or someday, or whatever
I am bleeding now.
I am broken and blistered and falling away
can anyone hear me cry?