Friday, May 25, 2012

5 or 6 days

This is right about the time when things are hardest

after 5 or 6 days of walking on dry land.

The ground beneath my feet is hard and brittle

and everything is just a little too clear.

My emotions have reached a raw exposure

after days when all the numb has slipped away.

The nerves and panic take up where they left off

and snuggle up in bed right next to me.

I’ve been running, sweating, driving myself to exhaustion

for days and days just so I could sleep.

But here I am a week in and I’m struggling

to keep myself from diving in again.

Just a swim, a gentle dip below the surface

enough to soak me fully to the bone.

Enough that I can disappear from this place and all this pain

just for a moment and then off to sleep again.

It’s dusty, stale and barren in this desert

there’s nothing soft and nowhere I can dream.

I can slip into that other place unnoticed

and the scars are the only way to prove I was there.

I’m fighting for life and death as if I had an army

with the strength of numbers arming me for the war.

But the reality is that I am the only one here

unarmed, alone and falling victim to the night.

OpenLinkNight ~ Week 47

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  1. i hope you have someone to walk with you...i know that helped me when i was trying to break me this speaks on several different levels....addiction or anything you are trying to break free of...nice...and best wishes

  2. So much pain in this and like Brian, I felt like it's about breaking free of an addiction. Powerful!