Sunday, August 19, 2012

The heart never learns...

I’ve tried everything I know how to do

to get me through this pain.

Rationalizing, facing the truth,

reading the books and writing the words.

I’ve tried blaming you and hating you

and focusing solely on the hurt.

I have immersed myself with images

of you and your new life.

I’ve tried drowning myself in a bottle

cut lines across my skin.

Yet nothing will take away this pain

I am still reeling in this ache.

I can’t forget how much I loved you

and how that made me feel.

The laughter, the comfort, the safety

of knowing you were here.

It hits me like a brick wall

like something physically striking me, still.

When I wake up from the peace of sleep

and realize that this is still real.

I want to run, I want to hide,

 I want to disappear.

But I’m still here alone with me

and still broken from you being gone.

Even knowing all the things

you did to me that were wrong.

The lying, the cheating, the betrayal of trust

my heart still wants you to come home.

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