I’ve tried everything I know
how to do
to get me through this pain.
Rationalizing, facing the
truth,
reading the books and writing
the words.
I’ve tried blaming you and
hating you
and focusing solely on the
hurt.
I have immersed myself with
images
of you and your new life.
I’ve tried drowning myself in a
bottle
cut lines across my skin.
Yet nothing will take away this
pain
I am still reeling in this
ache.
I can’t forget how much I loved
you
and how that made me feel.
The laughter, the comfort, the
safety
of knowing you were here.
It hits me like a brick wall
like something physically
striking me, still.
When I wake up from the peace
of sleep
and realize that this is still
real.
I want to run, I want to hide,
I want to disappear.
But I’m still here alone with
me
and still broken from you being
gone.
Even knowing all the things
you did to me that were wrong.
The lying, the cheating, the
betrayal of trust
my heart still wants you to
come home.
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