I’ve never felt this kind of
fear before,
as I stand at the beginning
fully and truly alone.
The changes that have taken
place, the work that has begun
will now be called upon to
state their names.
My life changed some months ago
my world turned upside down.
A future built and worked for
was cast into the sea.
Everything crumbled, including
me
as I tried to survive the
change.
And from the bottom I crawled
until I could stand again.
Decisions were laid out before
me
that were based solely and
purely on me.
And for the first time in my
life
I chose for myself.
I chose the path less taken
by most, including me.
I chose what will certainly be
the more difficult road.
I’ve been working and planning
and dreaming of this day.
Now today it is here
and I am filled with so many
things.
I am terrified of the
challenges that lay ahead
fearful that I may not have
what it takes.
I am filled with sadness at
closing this chapter of life
and mourning the fact that I am
doing this alone.
I am all I truly have
and I have learned that truth
this year.
I have crawled and scratched
and scraped my way back to
life.
From a place where I didn’t
care anymore
where I just wanted to
disappear.
To a place where I am being
rewarded
for the work that I have done.
Still I can’t help but be
thoughtful today
as I begin the planning of yet
another change.
Packing up and starting again
with only myself
and trying not to be afraid of
what will come.
No comments:
Post a Comment