flashing past me at the speed of sound
lights flicker, pulse pumping veins.
breath quick, heart beats, mind spins
I can’t quite make sense of anything.
it’s been like this for days
I cannot pin it down.
I feel like I am high
and drifting wildly.
fearful I will not
find my way back down.
nervous edges might be the cause
fear of what’s to come.
knowing that change
in necessary again.
but my focus has shifted wickedly
I’m unsettled deep within.
and maybe that’s not the best time
to move forward again.
I feel like I’m running away from something
instead of running to.
and the recklessness of that
is giving me fits.
is now keeping me awake.
the addict fiendishly coveting
something that seeps into the blood
and scares away all of the demons.
something transparent that creates
the illusion of strength.
something that distracts me from the ghosts
but also steals my ability to think.
with focus unattainable
that now becomes the course.
and the place where I must
engage my every thought.
this is the circle that I spin
with precision and expertise.
exchange one for the other
when it all becomes too much.