Sunday, August 18, 2013

A Hardened Heart

all I want is to run

far and fast and screaming.

run to places unknown

distant and far away.

with speed and agility

make my way round obstacles.

with strength and stamina

see how far I can go.

muscles flexing, burning

stretched to their very limit.

blood pumping fiercely

through every swollen vein.

breath coming fast and hard

lungs put to the test.

gasping but never giving in

beyond any limit set.

I want to run without direction

no map or navigation.

to be moving without knowing

just where I might land.

I want to lose this image of

myself along the way.

I want to forget the spelling

and the sound of my name.

I want to break this mold

that I cannot seem to crack.

the one that has me trapped

in my own mind.

rip and tear at the edges

until something finally gives.

and a sigh of relief

lets me slowly inhale again.

I want to breath this darkness out

in heavy deep sighs.

let this blackness

seep out of my chest.

withdraw sharpened teeth

retract jagged claws.

and find the tenderness

of a heart that has become so hard.


  1. Sounds like an escape into a life worth living, eh? I can relate, as always. And I think many can because we all feel and prod a certain rigidity of our heart that we would like to do away with. The run, as your poem builds up, also seems like a cleansing process, where all the blackness of the heart (and mind) is drained out.

    Personally, I would love to run but 1. I run in a very weird and funny way and 2. I have trouble coming to a stop. Really.

    Great poem, Andrea. Keep it up!

  2. Oh, yes, I've felt this way...wanting to run until I have nothing left...nothing left at all. This was so powerful, Andrea. Just wonderful and real.

  3. Many of us as we get older with an accumulation of lifes experiences feel within that 'hardening' heart. Some of us would like to be able to rid ourselves of it because it only ways us down, distracts us from the joy that is still out there. Unfortunately, some thrive on that hardened heart. I believe they are unhappy.

    I wish I could run, also but my two total hip replacements disallows that exhuberance that I once could attain when I used to run like a deer. :-)

    Good write, Andrea