Part of me wishes I didn’t know
half of the things that I do.
The lies, the intent, what you truly felt
and what your actions took away from me.
I’d still be here believing in you
and the pretty things you said.
That this was about finding something missing in yourself
instead of you leaving me for her.
All this talk about growth and personal change
means nothing anymore.
You’ve never spent a moment alone
it started long before you left.
Knowing what you did and what you meant to do
has now found me in this place.
Where I wish I’d never met you
and that I wasn't here all alone.
If you had only told the truth to me
it would have changed everything.
By lying and disrespecting me
you destroyed everything we ever had.
So now I am left to trying to find the way to heal from this
to falling out of love, and accepting that you left me for her.
I am trying to understand how you could just become
a memory that I can’t even trust.
You are so far from who I thought you were
that I can’t clearly remember your face.
You never look the same to me again
I’ve put all of the pictures away.
Surrounded by so much loss and pain
I am trying just to survive.
I wish I’d never come here
and never given you my heart.