Regret

Part of me wishes I didn’t know

half of the things that I do.

The lies, the intent, what you truly felt

and what your actions took away from me.

I’d still be here believing in you

and the pretty things you said.

That this was about finding something missing in yourself

instead of you leaving me for her.

All this talk about growth and personal change

means nothing anymore.

You’ve never spent a moment alone

it started long before you left.

Knowing what you did and what you meant to do

has now found me in this place.

Where I wish I’d never met you

and that I wasn't here all alone.

If you had only told the truth to me

it would have changed everything.

By lying and disrespecting me

you destroyed everything we ever had.

So now I am left to trying to find the way to heal from this

to falling out of love, and accepting that you left me for her.

I am trying to understand how you could just become

a memory that I can’t even trust.

You are so far from who I thought you were

that I can’t clearly remember your face.

You never look the same to me again

I’ve put all of the pictures away.

Surrounded by so much loss and pain

I am trying just to survive.

I wish I’d never come here

and never given you my heart.