I can feel it slowly creeping in
becoming the silent definition of who I am.
I am detaching, and separating myself from anyone else
I am distancing and crawling inside.
I don’t want anything, anyone, to be anywhere
I want to sit alone with myself and mourn.
I am falling and fading and can’t seem to give a damn
nothing is keeping me here.
I am broken and bruised and bitter and cold
I am distant and quiet and forlorn
I am sad and frustrated, in a state of disbelief
I can’t accept what has happened to me.
This whole thing has taken me down to my knees
stripped away all of the strength that I had.
I am numbing this pain that I can’t take anymore
and I am falling away as I do.
There is nothing here but me and the sounds of silence
nothing has become all I am.
I can’t see the light that I am told will come
and I’m so tired of fighting to stay engaged.
I am heartless now as mine was ripped away
the hole where it was is empty and hollow.
There is nothing within me but the spiral of this pain
and trying to figure out what I did wrong.
There is so much more than the loss of you
which in itself is almost too much to bear.
There is the loss of the entire life that I had planned
and all that I had worked for in myself to become.
How does one begin again
when everything has gone away?
Spirit and heart stripped down to a bloody pulp
disconnected and cast astray.
I can’t find myself in this emptiness
or the core of who I once was.
When I all that wanted and loved is gone
and I have been so easily replaced.