what this has done to me.
The way that it has changed me
into someone else.
My face no longer looks the same
my hair, my clothes, have changed.
My voice no longer carries in it
the light that it once did.
I can no longer stand
so many things that I once loved
No longer do I see the twinkled lights
or hazy dreams.
The sight of touch or tenderness
now fills me with disgust.
A hand upon skin
fills me with unease I can’t explain.
Gestures, movements, connection between
is something I cannot take.
I quickly move away
or just avoid it all the same.
I am sick at the thought of you and her
sick to my very soul.
I can’t wipe the images away
from the corners of my mind.
That is the fallout, the residue,
the remnants of betrayal.
That is the thing I cannot find
a way to let go of.