Moments flash like blinking eyes
the past brought to light.
I can see the moments I let slip by
or simply denied all the same.
Mostly they were words left hanging
echoing in the air.
But the feelings still attached to them
are part of who I am now.
I remember phone calls with secrets told
with fear and trepidation.
But the fear was cradled in words that would
I remember the car ride through the desert
the pain, the fear, the guilt.
I remember that was the day I knew
I could never show you those things.
I remember being so afraid
of roads I’d never been down.
And remember being so disappointed
that I was walking down them alone.
I remember hearing language
words that cut and stung.
And saying to myself, as long as,
they are never directed at me.
I remember taking my values
and dashing them upon the rocks.
Because I knew they would never matter to you
another death of me.
So many things remembered now
the words are screaming out loud.
Things I should have said and should have done
are only memories now.
In homage to the things that died
I write these words on this page.
And pin them to the walls of this room
to never be silenced again.