Back Again

Where do you go

when you don’t know what to do?

Where do you turn

when you don’t know where to go?

Who do you call

when it all seems too much to take?

Where do you fall

when the weight is too much to bear?

Some days the light

just can’t get bright enough.

Some days the dark

is just too enticing to avoid.

Some days I fall

and I fall and fall again.

Some days I just give in

and then I drown.

I can’t seem to find

myself these days.

Can’t seem to feel

like I am home.

I can’t relax, can’t sit,

can’t breathe within this silence.

I just want to run

to anyone to keep from being alone.

It’s starting to feel like a cycle

and I have to break it.

But it’s stronger than me right now

and I just can’t seem to win.

Breaking under the weight

of living this illusion.

Cracking under the pressure

of pretending to be ok.

I need someone, a person,

to spend some time with.

I need to think of something

other than you.

You’re haunting my mind

like the demon you’ve become.

Torturing me with memories

of everything I want to forget.

I’m lost and spinning

trying to grab hold.

Of anything that will stop this

maddening whirl.

I’m trying to find a lifeline

in this storm.

I don’t know how to get myself

back again.