Them

For two nights in a row

I have seen you watching me

Standing in a darkened hall

a few short yards away

The first night it startled me

as I peered into the darkness

I raised my hand and reached out

but you simply disappeared

Last night as the band

fed energy into the room

The time came for the clock to strike

and the past to become a beginning

The bells tolled and the room filled

with hugs and the repeating of happy

Happy new, happy start,

as tomorrow became today

Amidst hugs and expressions of love

pairs became joined as one

Music guiding the unions

motion growing from the still

He reached out to ‘him’

in the grasp of her arms

She held ‘her’ close

in the warmth of him

There was a pause in time

and for a moment I felt you

I felt the life

I felt the breath you no longer breathe

The sound of the room funneled

through my ears and into me

A vacuum created

inhaling all that has slipped away

I remembered everything for a moment

I felt everything again

This one is ours, was whispered

let’s dance this one for them…

Rarely in life do we know, when we meet someone, the role they will play in our lives. Sometimes, there are brief moments, flashes, things that stay with you only for a time and sometimes we know souls for a lifetime. Last night I rang in the new year with old and new friends, some of whom have changed my life and some of whom I think will.

  This piece describes a moment shared between two people who are grieving the loss of their loves and in this moment, however brief, they were all there together. In that moment they could touch the past and fondly remember as the hope and possibility of the future came with the arrival of the new year. 

This was a moment that brought healing.  ~ ~ ~

Solitude Sometimes Wins

it won’t always be like this

I know, I understand.

but it feels like this right now

and this is the moment I’m in.

with water flowing down my back

and tears pouring down my face.

I knelt on the shower floor

and let it all come out.

exhaustion and stress

a paralyzing blend.

of sensations that kill creativity

and leave me standing still.

I don’t have a moment to breathe right now

to exhale away the day.

from the moment it starts all eyes on me

and there is no refuge for me to hide.

there are no moments to sit and reflect

to let words float around in my mind.

no time to sit and stare at the trees

and let them sing to me.

this might not be important to those

who don’t live and breathe words.

but for those who do, you understand

it feels like a silent death.

last night I dreamt a story

that I wanted so badly to write.

but with dawn and the alarm and the inevitable day

I felt the words crawl away.

I dreamt of a friend I had found

who understood the words.

the meaning hidden in the rhythm

and the cadence of the song.

I dreamt that she came to my doorstep

and sat in the middle of the floor.

surrounded by books, piles of them

and waited patiently for me.

the irony in the dream was that I had run

and sat in front of her door.

needing the solace and consolation

of one who understands.

so while I sat, waiting for her

and she sat waiting for me.

the alarm rang and took that dream

but the message wasn’t lost.

in the shower it hit me full force

and flowed out with my tears.

I did have someone who understood

she just wasn’t standing here.

she listens though, and hears

and through words reaches me.

I just haven’t had the time to hear

and the solitude sometimes wins.