wondering
if I can run
faster
than the voices in my head
feeling
the pulsing and pounding
and
my heartbeat quickens as well
I am
trying to slow things down
trying
to let my breathing become even
trying
to let this churning feeling
settle
into a quiet hum
there
was a poke, skin pricked
a
scratch under the surface
and
now the wound is festering
infection
trying to set in
I
step outside into the rain
arms
and legs bare
and
I begin to move with intent
one
step at a time
at
first cold muscles start to scream
as
the aching needs to be heard
my
lungs choke on the chill in the air
but
I breathe through the burning in my chest
slow
and measured steps
breath
finding time with the pace
each
footfall pushing forward
propelling
me from this place
it’s
easy to just drop anchor
and
hunker down in the cold
wrapped
in cloaks of comforting warmth
as
you spiral down the hole
but
stripped half naked and soaked
as I
run for my life through the rain
I
can’t tell the difference between raindrops and tears
they
feel one and the same
the
sound of the rain is following me
like
footsteps on this path
and
the feeling that I am not out here alone
creeps
slowly up my back
I
look to the sky, the rain on my face
and
I feel the words pass my lips
God,
grant me the serenity
to
accept what I cannot change
