Seeking Normal

last night I was afraid of the dark

of the shadows across the hall

I lay in bed with covers pulled high

and waited for them to leave

I haven’t felt this in quite some time

but know what it all means

that I feel a sense of loneliness

that wants to consume me whole

I heard sounds that weren’t there

clicks and clacks in the night

and I couldn’t find the comfort

that usually rocks me to sleep

short and restless bouts

mixed with time spent too awake

and the night stretched on and on

until the final dream came

this one was chaotic

it was filled with panic and angst

with things that wouldn’t fit into boxes

and time kept slipping away

bad dreams and fear

tales that I know all too well

I’m trying hard to cling to things

that keep me tethered to the ground

nothing is normal anymore

nothing feels the same

time is stretching out endlessly

to days that never come

calendars flip of their own accord

and there is nothing to hold on to

the world is turning upside down

and the clock just ticks and ticks

I need some sort of resolution

something familiar to ground me again

out of sorts and feeling alone

and I’m afraid of the dark again

so I wake up today and make my bed

I can only control myself

my actions and my reactions

and everything else will be

one foot in front of the other

one step, one day at a time

and I pray for the strength to see

and maybe I’ll sleep with the light on tonight