I can’t sleep
my heart races wildly
ticking off the moments
to its pounding beats
I can’t catch my breath
I am sitting still
but feel as if I am moving
faster than my feet could ever go
I cry randomly and often
in front of groups of people
or as I now lie here
so utterly alone
I miss every beautiful moment
that I ever spent with you
in the comfort of your gaze
in the warmth of your arms
I am broken now
beaten, exhausted and holding on
by a single thread
that is tethered to nothing
I am fragile and afraid
because in this moment
I realize how truly alone
I am
you love me
I love you
but now I remember you once said
love just isn’t enough
I argued the point
so foolishly I held to my belief
that love would light our way
love is simply a foundation
the commitment to build
that love into a lifetime
is where the beauty lies
the hard work, the blood,
the sweat, the tears
and the joy as you watch
your labor become your life
us against the world
you and me
but for us there is only you
and there is only me
your path and your dream
is an open road
for too long
you were tethered in place
I found myself wanting
to be here building
forming the structure
that would frame our life
I want connection and a home
and a love within those walls
I thought we shared that dream
but I realize now that my voice
was the one narrating this tale
and that in your silence
I never heard you
I should have listened
to what the silence said
but I always got so lost
in the way you looked at me
I got lost in the way you held my hand
and the way you touched me
as if you just couldn’t believe
that I was real
but I am real and we were real
I just don’t think that you ever truly believed
that we could have had a life
that would have lasted forever
